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L’aperitivo: a quintessential Italian ritual

…travel is more than the seeing of sights;
it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent,
in the ideas of living.

~ Miriam Beard

Food and drink go together in that quintessential Italian ritual — An elegant aperitvo offering in Umbria

It’s two years since our last sojourn in Italy and I’m missing la dolce vita that Italians have perfected, so much. The memories of our last three month stay are bittersweet. An illness that started three weeks into our trip threw our plans into chaos but the very relaxed tempo of our excursions dictated by my condition meant that there was time to savour many things I love about Italy albeit in a restricted way.

The list of my loves is long. From the beauty of her ancient cities — their visible history takes me back to the Etruscans, through the Middle Ages to the grace and refinement of the renaissance period, to modern Italy where the warmth and passion of her people envelop me, the musicality of the language is so pleasing to my ear, the food cooked with seasonal ingredients, sumptuous gardens from bygone eras, age-old traditions and rituals that have influenced Italian life and are still practiced today…I could go on. So if you haven’t been, you must go there and experience it for yourself when we are all allowed to travel safely once more.

Extravagant garden of Isola Bella — The extravagant gardens of Isola Bella on Lago Maggiore on a warm sunny day

Because I couldn’t be there this springtime, I want to highlight a particular ritual that’s ubiquitous (and intensely missed in the time of Corona) in the balmy days of spring and summer, which epitomises la dolce vita, and happens to be one of my favourite things. It’s that quintessential Italian ritual of aperitivo. So come take a stroll down memory lane with me to those carefree balmy evenings and enjoy an aperitivo in il bel paese (the beautiful country).

Aperitivo time in a small village in Italy — Aperitivo time with amore in a small village in Italy. Non-alcoholic beverages so as to not clash with medication

Around 7pm when the sun is low in the sky is the time when Italians wind down. It’s that liminal time after work and before dinner. The time to enjoy a drink in a piazza that still holds the warmth of the day in its cobblestones. A little like happy hour in Australia, but in Italy it’s much more. This hour or two before dinner is a social time, a time to rendezvous with family and friends, catch up on news, and chat. And although l’aperitivo Italiano is the name for the ritual, it’s also the drink you enjoy during this delightful custom.

Taken from the Italian word aprire — to open— in this context to stimulate the palate, an aperitivo (or aperitif) is meant to whet the appetite for your dinner which is usually eaten around nine o’clock. Aperitivo is not just about enjoying a few drinks. In Italy a drink is always served with snacks (stuzzichini). This could range from a simple bowl of olives, potato crisps, or nuts, to something more substantial like little sandwiches, bruschette, cheeses and salumi, or small bites of pizza. Salty snacks which pair well with slightly bitter (amaro) drinks which is the Italian custom to serve at this hour.

The distinctive orange hue of the Spritz Aperol - a perfect aperitivo on a warm summer’s evening — The distinctive orange hue of the Spritz Aperol – a perfect aperitivo on a warm summer’s evening

Although a glass of prosecco or wine is perfectly fine, on the Menu Aperitivi you’ll find classic Italian cocktails like Campari and soda, or for something with more of a punch, Negroni — a mix of gin, vermouth and Campari, served with a slice of orange, or amore’s favourite, Spritz Aperol — a bright, orange-hued drink which is made with an infusion of bitter and sweet oranges, rhubarb and a secret mixture of herbs and roots. It’s served in a tall glass or a large wine glass filled with ice cubes, a mix of prosecco and soda, with a twist of orange to garnish.

Delicious!

L’aperitivo had its modern origins in Turin (wealthy Romans had their own elegant version in ancient times). In 1786, Antonio Benedetto Carpano, a distiller in Turin, created the first sweet vermouth — a fortified white wine infused with the flavours of wormwood, herbs, spices, and various other botanicals. The drink was popular in the royal court in Turin and became a hit with ordinary Italians. Signore Carpano asserted that his vermouth with its combination of herbs and spices stimulated the appetite and was more suitable for ladies to drink than red wine. The locals quickly got a taste for it!

Thus began the quintessential Italian ritual and drink, we know as l’aperitivo. Today the simple drink has evolved and the ritual has become a tradition in every part of Italy.

Perfect time to have an Aperitivo - at sunset on the Mediterranean sea, in the Cinque Terre — Perfect time to have an Aperitivo – at sunset on the Mediterranean sea, in the Cinque Terre

I have fond memories of my first experience of l’aperitivo. Amore and I sat watching the sunset outside a small bar overlooking the harbour in Manarolo in the Cinque Terre in 2008. It was our first trip to Italy as a couple and we were still a little unversed in the ways of Italians. We were delighted to be presented with little bowls of olives and nuts to accompany our glasses of prosecco. In Australia at that time, it wasn’t a practice. If you wanted snacks, you paid for them separately from your drinks. We were charmed and thought our hosts gracious and the gesture congenial. But unbeknownst to us, it was just a normal part of la dolce vita in Italy. Watching the sunset over the mediterranean that first time was an experience made sweeter by warm generosity of our hosts.

Aperitivo at the bar at San Fruttuoso Abbey, Italy — Celebrating our 37th wedding anniversary on a beautiful summer’s day at San Fruttuoso Abbey with an aperitivo in a simple beachside bar. Nuts and olives and simple bruschetta with tomato and basil accompanied our drinks.

Since then, we’ve enjoyed the ritual in many cities and towns in Italy — from chic cocktail bars in Milan, elegant lounge bars in Verona and beautiful piazze in Turin, the birthplace of this quintessential Italian ritual, to the smallest bar in the mountains of Le Marche and aperitivo with friends in Genoa with a view of the ocean at sunset.

San Fruttuoso Abbey, Liguria. On the right in the image, perched on the rocks, is the bar where we enjoyed our aperitivo

More recently, we sat at a bar overlooking a cove with the San Fruttuoso Abbey as our stunning backdrop sipping a Spritz Aperol in celebration of our 37^th wedding anniversary. So many memories which include this ritual that make me smile.

The ritual has spread past the shores of the Italian Peninsula (the French also have a long tradition of the aperitif) and it’s been embraced (better late than never, I say) in many bars in Australian capital cities, although it begins rather earlier in the day in line with our early workday finishes and dinner times.

The tradition continues at home. I love making canapés and delicious morsels to serve with drinks when we have friends around. It doesn’t have to be elaborate antipasti: small bowls of roasted nuts, olives or potato chips, a platter of cheese and salumi, or elegant little sandwiches, are great to serve with drinks. Have plenty of ice in your bucket, a few bottles of soda and your favourite amaro, a bottle of sparkling wine and slices of orange, plates and napkins, and let your guests serve themselves.

Catching up with friends - a marvellous way to enjoy an aperitivo. — Catching up with friends – a marvellous way to enjoy an aperitivo.

The most important aspect of aperitivo is the people. So gathering al tavolo with those dear to you is what makes life sweeter. I can’t wait to reintroduce this quintessential Italian ritual when we all feel comfortable gathering together again. It’s been a long time since we had friends around, perhaps for you too. I believe that life will look different when the time of Corona has passed but I hope that sweet rituals like l’aperitivo which brings people together, will be with us for a long time to come.

Do you have a tradition when getting together with friends and family? Are you missing it? Please share your story or good memories of gathering with loved ones in the comments. We’d all love to hear some joyful things in this sombre time.

Finding Hestia, connecting to the soul of place

Keep your face always toward the sunshine —
and shadows will fall behind you.

~ Walt Whitman

It’s my birthday week and I’ve had a few things on my mind: that I’m closer to sixty rather than fifty, that we arrived on the peninsula 15 weeks ago (where did the time go?), how house projects always take longer than you think, and about Hestia, the goddess of hearth and home and finding the soul of place.

A birthday is an important marker, a date that lets you know another year has passed, a time to celebrate the person you’ve become. But it’s also a moment to look to the year ahead. A time to reflect on what’s important, to have a vision for the next twelve months. It’s been such a busy three-and-a bit months, I sometimes have to remind myself to sit and just do nothing. Because of this, I’ve been musing on the values of the goddess Hestia — about making time and space for quiet reflection, for musing, for pottering. I’ve also been thinking about connecting to the spirit of my new place in my quest to create a sanctuary which embraces creativity, peace, and love.

We all want to be connected to a home, a community, a small world of our own. It’s a basic human need. But connecting to the spirit of place? Perhaps it sounds a little woohoo but according to poet, writer and traveller, Linda Lappin, there is a creative force inherent in the land known as the genius loci, translated as the ‘spirit’ or ‘soul of place’.

I’ve been reading and working through the creative exercises in Linda’s fabulous book, The soul of place* to help me conjure my own genius loci. According to Lappin, the Ancient Romans perceived it to be,

an entity residing in a site and energising it. …a guardian spirit with its own personality able to interact with human beings.

I love the sound of this concept as I believe you can find the power and magic in a place if you take the time to attune to your environment.

According to Linda, finding the spirit of place includes using all your senses: seeing the patterns, feeling the textures, the smells, the light, feeling the air moving around you, the ground beneath your feet, hearing all the sounds — in your natural environment. It’s also about being conscious of the history of the landscape and reflecting on how you fit into this space, this location, this community. Connecting identity and place.

What better way to discover all of this, than to create a garden?

So far, we’ve done little except clean up, prune back, and clear away debris in our sloping backyard. Preparing the canvas for the next stage.

A huge undertaking on an acre of land. But we are planning to work in the permaculture tradition of zones, beginning with Zone One — the area closest to the house. Although Zone One encompasses the area all around the house, we are focusing on the backyard, the space which we use most.

A few weeks after we moved in, when some of the ugly overgrown mess was cleared away, I planted a summer vegetable garden — tomatoes, aubergines, cucumbers, pumpkins and squash, as well as varieties of spinach, peas, lettuce, rocket, bok choy. A little excessive, I know, but I was keen to have some summer veggies.

Well, there’s been success and failure. More failure than success, I’m sad to say. The spinach, which had an initial growth spurt lost its tenacity and is now limping along. The peas and lettuce withered in the succession of heatwaves, chillies are growing in fits and starts, suffering in the poor soil and the bok choy and rocket died as seedlings.

pumpkins growing — Pumpkins growing well, loving the heat and sunshine.

The pumpkins, however, loved the heat and there are a couple that are almost full size. The tomatoes are staggering slowly to a size we can finally eat (I thought I planted large Grosse Lisse tomatoes but these are cherry size), and the slender Lebanese aubergines are ripening. Tiny cucumbers are finally forming after my encouraging talks, but the dahlias are refusing to grow taller than 30cm, but I’m still hoping for a growth spurt before the cooler weather arrives. Amongst all the failure though, there is a fabulous success story.

Sunflowers.

I’ve always loved them and planted seed for the first time ever, and they are flowering! I have large sunflowers and also a dwarf variety which are the first to open their sunny, friendly faces to the sun. So beautiful!

And a little more success: herbs — parsley, mint, tarragon, basil, thyme, oregano, lemongrass and chives are growing — which are staples for my cooking. But there were a number of failures here too, but I’m okay with that (well, a little sad); I had to remind myself constantly that this is a temporary vegetable patch. I also see the error of my over-enthusiasm. Perhaps it would have been better connecting to the spirit of place, to find the magic first. But we will replant once our plan, which amore has just finished after lots of walking the property, measuring, and looking for boundaries, is put into action.

Gulf St Vincent — A hot summer’s day exploring my stretch of coast on a quest to find the spirit of place, the *genius loci.*

Now, it’s all about the senses, becoming attuned to my environment. Knowing the direction of the wind, where the shade falls in the afternoon, mapping the existing structures, large trees, paths and driveway (new gravel which is keeping the dust down, yay!), scowling at our neighbour’s ugly carport which he put up a couple of weeks after we moved in. I’m taking notes on all of these and more, taking pics and of course, drawing up a dream list for the garden. Most of all, I’m paying attention as I experience this outdoor space and hoping for a little magic as we conjure the genius loci.

My sanctuary embraces the interior spaces as well. My kitchen, a place for creativity, for gathering, for sharing food, is central to this story. It’s the interior Zone One, if you will. And this is where Hestia, the goddess of hearth, home and family resides.

‘Hearth’ comes from the Latin for ‘focus’ — a centre of interest or activity, it’s a place where family gathers, and symbolises the heart and soul of the household. It’s a fitting place to begin our renovation not just because it’s the heart of our home. There is an oven which doesn’t come to temperature and takes twice as long to cook anything, there’s very little bench space for prep, an unfinished wall, and the darkness of the space is depressing. A few essential bits that need fixing but I’m grateful that amore has the skills and has measured and drawn a plan (with my input, of course!) for this space as well.

It’s an exhausting activity, planning a space, isn’t it? For the kitchen, after what seemed like endless online research, I came up with a shortlist of appliances. But when we went to a large store to feel and touch these metal must-have labour-saving devices, that shortlist flew out the window. The salesperson extolled the virtues of other brands, showed us the shortcomings of our chosen appliances and promised discounts.

Sunset on the Fleurieu Peninsula — On a deck, grateful for a peaceful end to the day that was chaotic, stressful, and seemingly endless.

After more than an hour we exited the store, our fuzzy cottonwool brains overstimulated by the features of shiny new ovens, the benefits of induction cooking and the ten cycles of the perfect (and most expensive) dishwasher, described in detail by our helpful assistant. And why are there so many different range hoods, sinks, taps? And still, there are more decisions to be made — colours, door profiles and handles, tiles, splash backs, lights . . .

If you’ve ever renovated any room, you know how stressful this part of the process is. I wish someone would wave a magic wand and we could bypass this step. But go through the process we must, if I want my sanctuary.

Creating a sanctuary — Although it needs work, I want to enjoy this room more often. It has view of the hills and the ocean, it’s a place to relax and daydream — a sanctuary.

I know I’m waxing lyrical about a sanctuary, but your home — whether it’s a room in a house shared with others, a rented house for two, a sprawling farmhouse with children running around, a mansion, or a building ready for renovation like ours — is an essential symbol for your soul. It is a place to feel safe, to be yourself, it’s a haven from the stresses of work, and a place to shut out the world when you need some relaxation. I didn’t have a space to call my own for two years and although I’m loving having this unloved haven, I want to make it REALLY my own. So I’ve invited Hestia along to help me.

flower circles in the garden — Turning their faces toward the sun. Symbols of Hestia are everywhere in my garden.

According to Greek mythology, the goddess Hestia (Vesta to the Romans) was central to Greek and Roman life. She is said to give the house its soul, to imbue the house with spirit and provide the link to the earth, to nature, to community. She also provides safety, security, serenity — serenity being the word that drew me in. The circle is a symbol of Hestia, also the ancient symbol of Mother Earth, of unity, togetherness and connectedness — all good omens for finding the genius loci.

Hestia was the quiet goddess — she stayed home keeping the fires burning, she cared for others, and provided a sanctuary for anyone in need who knocked at the door. I’d like to think that my home will be a haven for all my friends and family too.

A time for yoga — Yoga and meditation at The Beach House every week

In the year ahead, I look forward to some Hestia time – pottering around, moving a piece of furniture, sitting, writing, daydreaming, practicing yoga. I just need a new kitchen first.

What makes your home a sanctuary? Please leave me a note in the comments. I’d love to share what’s special to you about your home.

* I receive a a few cents if you buy a book following the link in my post.

The poetry of life: a reminder to be present

The world is full of poetry.
The air is living with its spirit;
and the waves dance to the music of its melodies,
and sparkle in its brightness.

~ James Gates Percival, American poet

The poetry of life: waves dancing — Waves dancing – the poetry of life at Maslin Beach, South Australia

I discovered contemporary poetry when I was working through 27 Wild Days, the wild writing course delivered by the perceptive Laurie Wagner. This poetry is nothing like Wordsworth’s “Daffodils” where you wander lonely as a cloud. This is the poetry of life in its rawness, emotions, and ordinariness. I was introduced to Maya Stein’s poem about being close to the bone, and words from Ellen Bass on marriage and Naomi Shihab Nye, whose poem “Valentine for Ernest Mann” was the jumping off point for my wild writing on Day 19.

These words from the second stanza resonated with me:

… So I’ll tell a secret instead:

poems hide. In the bottoms of our shoes,

they are sleeping. They are the shadows

drifting across our ceilings the moment

before we wake up. What we have to do

is live in a way that lets us find them….

Poet-to-Poet: Naomi Shihib Nye Reads “Valentine for Ernest Mann”
from the Academy of American poets

And these are the words from my pages that day:

Poems hide in the deepest recesses of your mind, on the pages filled with your writing, on the hastily scribbled scraps of paper in your bag, on to-do lists. They hide in drawers and cupboards, in the car at the lights, when you’re alone with your thoughts. Poems hide in those notebooks you fill with ink, in your sketches, and on sticky notes. Hell, some of those sticky notes are poems. They’re in the sweet caresses and gentle kisses you’re gifted sometimes. That’s the poetry of life!

Love and poetry in preparing food — Preparing food for the family – love and poetry connecting

Poems are buried in the soil you’re working in the garden, in the cake you’re mixing for that family occasion, among the vegetables you’re chopping for your dinner. They’re in the grains of sand on the beach, in the foam of the waves you’re riding on your board, in cloud shapes, and in the leaves dancing in the wind of the giant Eucalypt in your yard. Poems are sneaky. They hide in places you least expect. In moments when you’re not paying attention. In the cutlery drawer.

You have to look out for them.

poetry is in the grains of sand at the beach — Taking time to notice the poems in our life

Poems hide everywhere but we don’t see or hear them sometimes because we’ve let the busyness of life take over and we close ourselves off — from the beauty of ordinary things; from finding joy in ordinary moments; from being present for our feelings. But if you open your eyes, your ears, your nostrils, and take a deep breath, you’ll find them. You can also send them into the world if your open your heart.

You’ll find them as you walk that winding path of life — in the rocks along the way that trip you up when you’re not paying attention, in gestures and smiles, and in conversations if you listen for them. Sometimes you only hear a couple of words, but that’s enough.

the gift of poetry in nature — Nature gives us the gift of poetry

Poems are in the grass beneath your feet, in the distant views across the hills, in the smell of sunburnt grass and in the reeds growing in the dam. If you use your senses while you stay present and see the joy in ordinary moments — you’ll discover them. You may find more than you think. More beauty, more kindness, more grace, more love. This is the poetry of life.

These are some of the places where I find poems. I know that there are many other places when they can hide. So I hope that this reminder which I wrote for myself is a jumping off point for you to see the poetry in your life.

Lessons learned on the journey to a find a home

There is a road
always beckoning.
When you see the two sides of it
closing together
at that far horizon
and deep in the foundations
of your own heart
at exactly the same time,
That’s how you know
it’s the road you have to follow.

~ From the poem
Just beyond yourself by David Whyte

Journey to find a home — A farm dam in country Victoria. From our first journey when the land was still golden from Summer’s sun.

I opened my diary this week. The last entry is dated Tuesday, 5 March 2019 — Arrive at Dune Cottage, Normanville. Along with some of my personal papers, my diary has been boxed and stored to keep it safe and private while we traversed three states in our renewed search for a home. I’m not sure why I left it behind. An error of judgement and one of a number of lessons learned on the journey to find a home.

The first lesson is that you should keep your diary with you at all times if you want to stay motivated and productive. It keeps you steady. It helps to create a routine even when there doesn’t seem to be room for routine. Other lessons: you should write in your journal every day; and meditate as you’ve practiced for the past twelve weeks; and draw. I know that rituals and habits help maintain my equilibrium, yet I dropped them like hot potatoes on our road trip.

Passing through sunburnt countryside in New South Wales, early March 2019

We completed two journeys, returning briefly from the first after a month. When we set off on our first road trip at the beginning of March, summer was lingering. It was hot and the land was parched, we swam in the ocean, slapped on sunscreen and wore hats all the time. On our return to New South Wales a week ago, the landscape had changed. There were swathes of green across the hills and valleys, the sun was lower in the sky and the leaves were beginning to to turn the colours of autumn. A lot has changed since the beginning of March. Yet some things are still the same.

One thing that’s still the same is that we have not found a house. The quest has been exhausting. Driving long distances, checking the internet each night to see if we missed something that could be a potential dream house, or even for something that wasn’t. We looked for something new, a nearby town that we bypassed, a town that we’d been to previously — we tracked anything that could provide a glimmer of hope.

Our travels took us inland across New South Wales, through Albury and across the border into the state of Victoria. We passed cattle farms and wind farms, slowed through tiny country towns with only a church and a general store, and we hustled along highways. We explored the Yarra Valley through Healesville and Marysville, discovered the chestnut, apple and cherry growing districts of Myrtleford and Mansfield, and stopped in the trendy town of Beechworth.

We passed the painted grain silos in Coonalpyn, South Australia on our journey to find a home

We drove through Ballarat and Horsham, gazed in awe at the mural covered Viterra grain silos at Coonalpyn in South Australia before driving through the towns of Meadows and Mount Compass to the coastal town of Normanville. Our search in South Australia took us through the dry hills of Whites Valley, Hindmarsh Valley, Mount Jagged and McClaren Vale. Our hopes were raised and then dashed as we followed leads through even more towns.

The bald hills still baking under the summer sun in South Australia

We looked at property in Willunga and then in Yankalilla. We returned to Adelaide and considered a townhouse in the city. We found acreage among the vineyards, but there was no water for a garden. We followed trails to what we thought were perfect dream houses, to find that they were false leads.

The internet descriptions were great, conversations with the agent made our hopes soar, and we started talking about how we could use the land, about changes we could make to the house, how an extra room could be used as a yoga studio, where we could put the couches… until we arrived at each house and hope turned to disappointment. My friend Kar calls this the pendulum of emotions. She also said to go with it and most importantly, to have faith in the dream…

But the dream is fading and it’s difficult to continue to have faith in the vision. If you’ve ever been house-hunting you’ll know how it is. False leads abound. After a while we learned a few more lessons: we became savvy about trick photography — that’s everything from expanding the size of a room to double it’s true proportions, and making everything look lighter, brighter and cleaner, to making the dry grass look green — and realtor-speak, which includes lies of omission. It’s hard to gain information from some agents — simple things like the dimensions of rooms, to what’s happening on the neighbouring property. It’s caveat emptor or ‘Let the buyer beware’.

Not that all of this is an excuse for dropping the rituals. It just happened that way. And, as I said, I learned a few lessons. I made some intentional choices and set some timelines recently and they got lost along the journey over the past weeks. So there are a few unfulfilled objectives for this season. You know what they are from my previous post. I’m still working out what to do next but I know that I can’t focus on setting up websites and pitching stories. From my lessons learned, I know that what I can do is write, and journal, and meditate, and practice yoga.

Lessons learned — The Shoalhaven River and Rainer Maria Rilke’s words to keep me in flow

I accept the lessons and it’s time to move on. I’ll try to keep my word for the year ‘FLOW’ in my daily thoughts, my vision for living a passionate life close to my heart, and Rainer Maria Rilke’s words echoing in my ears. We’ve discovered rivers and towns, communities and culture that weren’t part of our original dream. Perhaps the new month is a good time to reflect on the dream. Maybe there is a different way to interpret our vision. Our plan is to take another trip. The lessons learned from the our previous journeys will serve as intentions on the road. And my diary will be the first item I pack.

See you along the way.

PS: Read David Whyte’s poem Just beyond yourself in full here

Intentional choices – a new approach for 2019

Just beyond yourself. It’s where you need to be.
Half a step into forgetting and the rest restored by what you meet.

~ From the poem ‘Just beyond yourself’
in David Whyte’s collection of poetry, The bell and the blackbird

Intentional choices to keep me moving toward what just beyond myself — Intentional choices to move smoothly with unbroken continuity, and go just beyond myself.

2019 began with an intention to be in FLOW – my word for this year. I want to move from where I am to just beyond myself, as the quote above says. One way is to give attention to my intentions, something I’ve written about previously. But to make this work, I have to take it a step further by making intentional choices.

Ralph Marston, author of the blog, The daily motivator says, “just because you can, doesn’t mean you should”. He says that the choices you make should be driven by what will make a difference in your life.

Last year, I kept loading my plate with to-dos, projects, stuff, that had me flitting from one thing to another keeping me busy chasing my tail but not moving me forward. This year, my new approach came after reflecting on how I want my days to be and what will make a difference in my life. Professional writing goals, self-care – which includes making time for drawing, and exercise are the most important things that I feel will make a difference for now.

Even though I’ve set goals each year, I’ve never been successful at staying the distance. This year I decided to set goals for the quarter. Three months seem more manageable, close enough to keep me on my toes and to keep me moving smoothly. Following the rhythm of the seasons feels good as well. Ok, I’m not quite in alignment but being in flow means easy movement, so flexibility comes into play here.

Intentional choices for my attention. The view of the Shoalhaven River ... and beyond. Where I want to be. — View of the Shoalhaven River …and beyond myself. It’s where I want to be.

My goals are simple, and really, I hesitate to share them. Sharing means accountability and I haven’t been accountable since I stopped being an employee a long time ago. But a little accountability goes a long way, I’ve decided. There are just three goals and I’m under no illusion about the work involved. But it’s one choice at a time, one step after another.

So here are my goals for the quarter:

Change my website – I want a professional persona which incorporates my freelance work, my travel articles and also a journal to chronicle my path to the passionate life I seek. I’ve vacillated between setting up a new professional website, and weaving all the threads of my life together and positioning it in one place. The jury is still out on this but there is work to do, content to be written and other small decisions to be made about business cards, logo, service offerings and clients.I’d love to hear your thoughts on this if you’ve come to that fork in the road — how to integrate the personal and the professional aspects of your life and how you decided to present this publicly.
Write and publish blog posts according to a schedule. I’ve set up the schedule, and listed the numerous ideas I want to write about, so you will be receiving more regular letters from me. I won’t overwhelm your inbox, but they will appear more often than in the recent past.
I want to see a published article (print or online, it doesn’t matter) in a magazine with my byline. This means overcoming a number of obstacles: perfectionism — accepting that something is good enough; procrastination; and my fear of rejection. Recently, I read the book Feel the fear and do it anyway by Susan Jeffers who says I should change my vocabulary from:

I can’t… to …I won’t
I should… to …I could
I hope… to …I know
If only… to …Next time

And instead of asking, ‘What will I do?” when I meet the next challenge, saying, “I can handle it.”

Tentatively, I’m going with ‘I can handle it’ for now. With my goals in mind, I list just three things I want to accomplish each day. Intentional choices each day to help me move beyond myself. Small steps to achieve big things! Some days, I complete the three tasks I set myself, other days there are demands that take me away from my work. But there’s no dwelling on that and feeling guilty. My choice is to move gently and not feel anxious even though I want to make continuous progress.

I’m also using my diary in the way it’s meant to be used. David Allen in his book, Getting things done says that a diary should only be used to note the things you want to accomplish on specific days, and appointments and activities at specific times, instead of using it as a notebook for jotting down random things. Something I’m guilty of. This seems to be working as I’m using it every day now, and it sits open on my desk in plain view, with my three things to accomplish and the the other to-dos for the day. It’s not forgotten in a drawer or under a pile of books.

So, there you have it. My professional goals for the quarter. I feel the anxious fluttering of butterflies in my stomach now, so I’m going to take a short break and give my attention to another intentional choice I made: to bring meditation into my life as part of my self-care…

Meditation - an eight week programme to help me make intentional choices — Another of my intentional choices – to follow an eight week meditation programme from this book

…I’m back after a three-minute meditation which has settled me. I bought this book as a present for my son but I’ve kept it for a while so that I could work through the eight-week course of becoming more mindfully aware.

Mark Williams and Danny Penman’s book is a practical guide to meditation, set out in weekly activities and practices which only take a few minutes. Making this intentional choice is, as Ralph Marston says, another way to make a difference in my life.

I’m at week six now. It’s another way to bring FLOW into my life — to enable the gentle process of moving continuously to unfold easily, calmly, and smoothly. I’m meditating daily and although my mind is easily distracted, I think it’s been enormously beneficial. I certainly feel calmer, less stressed about the things I can’t control, and not so anxious about all the ‘Next actions’ on my Trello boards.

Drawing as a way to keep in in the present — Drawing practice each day to keep me mindful and in flow with my daily intentions

As part of my self-care I made the intentional choice to make time for drawing which helps with my creativity and focuses my attention in the present. I’m still at the beginning of my learning but my practice has been erratic.

For starters, I decided that for the month of February I would draw snippets from my life every day. The time I spend drawing is like an active meditation. There’s just me, my pencil on the paper, and my subject — a kind of meditation. A small drawing, I’ve discovered, doesn’t take long. The drawings aren’t fabulous — I can see a lack of perspective in some and problems with proportion, but I’ve banished the demon of perfection .

Seeing the ocean is self-care. It helps me to keep in flow with my intentional choices — An Italian seascape. The ocean is a place that soothes me. A place to practice self-care

Other intentional choices, like my journal writing, which is part of my daily routine anyway, and regular exercise, apart from walking my dog, are what matter to me as well. I joined an exercise class at my local swimming pool and attend three times per week. I can’t say I love the pool (I prefer the beach) but I do enjoy being active and feeling fit). I can feel the difference in my body and it’s another way to be present. And the endorphins produced linger for quite a while afterward. So it’s a win win situation!

I know there will be days when my attention will be drawn elsewhere, such as searching for the dream house (an ongoing affair which is an overarching objective for this year and one which is going to make a huge difference to my life!). However, routine is a steadying influence for now.

My intentional choices are keeping me on the path to building that passionate life, taking me beyond myself, which is where I want to be. The rest of David’s quote — ‘Half a step into forgetting and the rest restored by what you’ll meet.’— is a good place to aim for. This means be gentle to myself, visit the beach often, walk in nature and spend time with my loves.

Have you made some intentional choices in your life that have helped you achieve life or career goals? I’d love to hear your story in the comments.

FLOW: my word of the year 2019

May what I do
flow from me like a river,
no forcing and no holding back,
the way it is with children.

~ Rainer Maria Rilke

The first three weeks of the new year have passed and I’m in continuous movement. It’s a consequence of FLOW: my word of the year. I had mixed feelings about choosing a word of the year for 2019 as the past two years have turned out quite opposite to what I thought my word for the year stood for.

Last year my word was ‘Adventure’. I write it with a capital ‘A’ because it was going to be exceptional! However, it turned out to be more about misadventure, in the forms of malaise, melancholy, and woe.

In 2017 my word was ‘create’. I love that word and its connotations: to initiate; to bring forth; cause to happen; produce; arrange by intention; dream up; execute; and my favourite — cause to come into being. (Thank you Mr Roget) It was the year that everything was going happen, to come into being — I had the intention to create something new from the cold ashes of my past work, to put the word travel before the word writer as one of my new titles, and of course, I had the dream of a house and way of life in my pocket.

What happened?

Discord, disappointment, and apathy. Doesn’t paint a good picture, does it? Yet I’ve lived to see another day, another year, with the chance to make 2019 different. With this in mind, in the last few weeks of 2018 I prepared myself to begin the new year with a new mindset, a system to keep me organised, and a guiding light to support me in my endeavours.

Five useful tools to prepare for the new year:

Susannah Conway’s Find your word e-course
A system from the book Getting things done by David Allen
Trello, a task management app
A desire to make things happen
Meditation

Flow: my word of the year 2019 — Seeing patterns and continuous movement in this graphic of my word of the year

Finding my word of the year

Susannah Conway’s Find your word e-course is a great way to discover what is important to you, how you want to feel, and to find a word that will be your companion, inspiration and cheerleader for the year. The course is a process. You receive an email each day for five days, beginning with a wonderful calming visualisation and exercise to help you think about what your ideal day would look and feel like. There are also questions and exercises to help illuminate which words have meaning for you.

The most powerful question for me was:

“What do you need more of in your life?”

First I thought I needed more magic. We could all do with a little magic, yes? ‘Focus’ was another word that made my shortlist but it seemed so imperious. Too commanding and urgent even though it’s certainly an area for improvement. ‘Delight’ made the shortlist as well. I could use more of that.

And then FLOW appeared. I flowed toward it, really. The sound of it was easy, delightful — it brought to mind a gentle stream flowing over smooth rocks and round pebbles —always moving. I turned to my new Macquarie Dictionary and Mr Roget for synonyms (of course!) and the meaning that resonated most intensely was:

To move smoothly with unbroken continuity.

After a year of fits and starts, jagged edges and scattered dreams, I’m longing for continuity and a smooth flow. A time of gentleness and grace. Self-care and self-compassion. And most of all, continuous movement. It seemed to be the perfect word to support and encourage me through 2019.

At the end of the five days, I had researched FLOW — shaken it, turned it inside out, squished it, and smoothed it back out. I had to be sure that it was the right word with which to begin the new year. I wrote about it, started a Pinterest board, coloured in designs (stuff I never did for my other words of the year). It was going to be my word of the year for 2019. I owned it!

Eight flow words and phrases I love:

unfolding
moving with grace
continuous movement
progress effortlessly
advance or rise
present in abundance
smooth, easy movement
gentle process

continuous movement — The Shoalhaven River, always moving with the tide.

Choosing FLOW as my word the year feels so significant. I’ve been reflecting on how I would like it to manifest in my life. It’s an active word (like a gentle river, always in movement) rather than a feeling word, and I like that because 2019 is my action year.

I’m grateful for Susannah’s process to reveal my word, for the reflective prompts and questions, and the suggestions on how to keep it dynamic throughout the year. I knew however, that in order to bring more flow, I had to get organised.

Oh, I know, I sound like a stuck record trotting out this old chestnut every few months. Perhaps it’s because I’ve just arrived at another fork in the road and a bolt of illumination has revealed the way ahead. In one direction, that passionate life I’m always talking about, and the other leading me to lost dreams and regret. So, no more regrets, no more excuses, no more illness and discord, just setting things up for continuous movement with a little touch of magic added.

Setting things up for getting things done

David Allen’s book Getting things done flowed toward me at this time. A practical guide to, well, getting things done, it helped me to see a different way of working and a new system for getting control of my life. It’s a way of mastering workflow. There’s that word again! The Getting things done system works on the premise of asking, “What’s the next action?”

To begin, I had to capture all the stuff that was outstanding, incomplete, or had a decision or potential action tied to it. A revealing exercise! Notes in drawers, file folders, post-it notes, in workbooks, and in various apps on my computer spewed forth into my new in-tray. Suffice it to say that a number of days and steps later and with the help of Trello, a task management app, I had a basic workflow management system set up. I’m still working with Trello, things are changing each day, getting better as I reflect on the best way forward. All the while, I’ve been playing with my new word of the year. Keeping it front and centre.

I also have a new mantra:

For added flow, I also decided to let meditation into my life again. A book by Mark Williams and Danny Penman, Mindfulness: A practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world seemed perfect. An eight week programme with a set of simple practices to incorporate into my daily life which started with a gentle introduction to mindful awareness. I’ve been appreciating my morning coffee even more since I became more aware. I’m at week three now, so more on this as the weeks unfold.

With a new system, a new perspective and new practices in place, for the first time in a number of new beginnings, the new year rolled over gently with me feeling in step and in control of my life. So far, so good. I’m happy with my smooth, continuous movement. I’ve become productive again.

Why is this beginning different?

I think it has to do with engaging with my word, being open to what the word FLOW might bring, but also understanding the vicissitudes of life and accepting what happens and working with it, whether that’s good or bad. I’m also learning about self-care. I made a decision to be gentle with myself in December even whilst putting plans and systems in place and coming to grips with software. I’m surprised at how much I achieved. And there are additional things I would like to bring into this smooth-flowing current. My drawing practice has been neglected. For a while I couldn’t sit comfortably for long enough to sketch but I’m finding it easier now and I want to pick up my pencil again. Another area I’m learning about is my personality type. I want to explore this further in order to understand myself better.

Rilke’s quote at the top of this article, appeared on an Instagram post of a friend @lauraleerussell who chose the word FLOW as her word of the year previously. I’m grateful for her sharing. Rilke’s words are beautiful , aren’t they? It’s my wish that what I do may flow from me like a river in 2019, with no forcing and no holding back. Stretching without striving.

A dear friend sent me this quote with the advice to ‘keep it simple’:

The complicated part of life is discovering how simple it is.

~ Author unknown

I’m still in discovery mode but actively searching for simplicity. I’m looking forward to the point where I discover how simple life is. Perhaps, with a little dusting of MAGIC (a supporting word for me this year), FLOW will truly manifest positively as my word of the year in 2019 and bring that simplicity to my life.

I’m hopeful!

Have you chosen a word as a companion for the year? Do you have special rituals or activities that help you to bring your word into your life? I’d love to hear about your experiences with words of the year in the comments.

Wishing you a fulfilling 2019!

L’aperitivo: a quintessential Italian ritual

Finding Hestia, connecting to the soul of place

The poetry of life: a reminder to be present

Lessons learned on the journey to a find a home