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being present

The poetry of life: a reminder to be present

The world is full of poetry.
The air is living with its spirit;
and the waves dance to the music of its melodies,
and sparkle in its brightness.

                                           ~  James Gates Percival, American poet

The poetry of life: waves dancing
Waves dancing – the poetry of life at Maslin Beach, South Australia

I discovered contemporary poetry when I was working through 27 Wild Days, the wild writing course delivered by the perceptive Laurie Wagner. This poetry is nothing like Wordsworth’s  “Daffodils” where you wander lonely as a cloud. This is the poetry of life in its rawness, emotions, and ordinariness. I was introduced to Maya Stein’s poem about being close to the bone, and words from Ellen Bass on marriage and Naomi Shihab Nye, whose poem “Valentine for Ernest Mann” was the jumping off point for my wild writing on Day 19.

These words from the second stanza resonated with me:

… So I’ll tell a secret instead:

poems hide. In the bottoms of our shoes,

they are sleeping. They are the shadows

drifting across our ceilings the moment 

before we wake up. What we have to do

is live in a way that lets us find them….


Poet-to-Poet: Naomi Shihib Nye Reads “Valentine for Ernest Mann”
from the Academy of American poets

And these are the words from my pages that day:

Poems hide in the deepest recesses of your mind, on the pages filled with your writing, on the hastily scribbled scraps of paper in your bag, on to-do lists. They hide in drawers and cupboards, in the car at the lights, when you’re alone with your thoughts. Poems hide in those notebooks you fill with ink, in your sketches, and on sticky notes. Hell, some of those sticky notes are poems. They’re in the sweet caresses and gentle kisses you’re gifted sometimes. That’s the poetry of life!

Love and poetry in preparing food
Preparing food for the family – love and poetry connecting

Poems are buried in the soil you’re working in the garden, in the cake you’re mixing for that family occasion, among the vegetables you’re chopping for your dinner. They’re in the grains of sand on the beach, in the foam of the waves you’re riding on your board, in cloud shapes, and in the leaves dancing in the wind of the giant Eucalypt in your yard. Poems are sneaky. They hide in places you least expect. In moments when you’re not paying attention. In the cutlery drawer. 

You have to look out for them.

poetry is in the grains of sand at the beach
Taking time to notice the poems in our life

Poems hide everywhere but we don’t see or hear them sometimes because we’ve let the busyness of life take over and we close ourselves off — from the beauty of ordinary things; from finding joy in ordinary moments; from being present for our feelings. But if you open your eyes, your ears, your nostrils, and take a deep breath, you’ll find them. You can also send them into the world if your open your heart.

You’ll find them as you walk that winding path of life — in the rocks along the way that trip you up when you’re not paying attention, in gestures and smiles, and in conversations if you listen for them. Sometimes you only hear a couple of words, but that’s enough. 

the gift of poetry in nature
Nature gives us the gift of poetry

Poems are in the grass beneath your feet, in the distant views across the hills, in the smell of sunburnt grass and in the reeds growing in the dam. If you use your senses while you stay present and see the joy in ordinary moments — you’ll discover them. You may find more than you think. More beauty, more kindness, more grace, more love. This is the poetry of life. 

These are some of the places where I find poems. I know that there are many other places when they can hide. So I hope that this reminder which I wrote for myself is a jumping off point for you to see the poetry in your life.

Colleen

Intentional choices – a new approach for 2019

Just beyond yourself. It’s where you need to be.
Half a step into forgetting and the rest restored by what you meet.

~ From the poem ‘Just beyond yourself’
in David Whyte’s collection of poetry, The bell and the blackbird 

Intentional choices to keep me moving toward what just beyond myself
Intentional choices to move smoothly with unbroken continuity, and go just beyond myself.

2019 began with an intention to be in FLOW – my word for this year. I want to move from where I am to just beyond myself, as the quote above says. One way is to give attention to my intentions, something I’ve written about previously. But to make this work, I have to take it a step further by making intentional choices.

Ralph Marston, author of the blog, The daily motivator says, “just because you can, doesn’t mean you should”. He says that the choices you make should be driven by what will make a difference in your life.  

Last year, I kept loading my plate with to-dos, projects, stuff, that had me flitting from one thing to another keeping me busy chasing my tail but not moving me forward. This year, my new approach came after reflecting on how I want my days to be and what will make a difference in my life. Professional writing goals, self-care – which includes making time for drawing, and exercise are the most important  things that I feel will make a difference for now.

Even though I’ve set goals each year, I’ve never been successful at staying the distance. This year I decided to set goals for the quarter. Three months seem more manageable, close enough to keep me on my toes and to keep me moving smoothly.  Following the rhythm of the seasons feels good as well. Ok, I’m not quite in alignment but being in flow means easy movement, so flexibility comes into play here. 

Intentional choices for my attention. The view of the Shoalhaven River ... and beyond. Where I want to be.
View of the Shoalhaven River …and beyond myself. It’s where I want to be.

My goals are simple, and really, I hesitate to share them. Sharing means accountability and I haven’t been accountable since I stopped being an employee a long time ago.  But a little accountability goes a long way, I’ve decided. There are just three goals and I’m under no illusion about the work involved. But it’s one choice at a time, one step after another. 

So here are my goals for the quarter:

  1. Change my website – I want a professional persona which incorporates my freelance work, my travel articles and also a journal to chronicle my path to the passionate life I seek. I’ve vacillated between  setting up a new professional website, and weaving all the threads of my life together and positioning it in one place. The jury is still out on this but there is work to do, content to be written and other small decisions to be made about business cards, logo, service offerings and clients.I’d love to hear your thoughts on this if you’ve come to that fork in the road — how to integrate the personal and the professional aspects of your life and how you decided to present this publicly.
  2. Write and publish blog posts according to a schedule. I’ve set up the schedule, and listed the numerous ideas I want to write about, so you will be receiving more regular letters from me. I won’t overwhelm your inbox, but they will appear more often than in the recent past.
  3. I want to see a published article  (print or online, it doesn’t matter) in a magazine with my byline. This means overcoming a number of obstacles: perfectionism — accepting that something is good enough; procrastination; and my fear of rejection. Recently, I read the book Feel the fear and do it anyway by Susan Jeffers who says I should change my vocabulary from:
  • I can’t… to  …I won’t 
  • I should… to …I could
  • I hope… to …I know
  • If only… to …Next time  

And instead of asking, ‘What will I do?” when I meet the next challenge, saying, “I can handle it.” 

Tentatively, I’m going with ‘I can handle it’ for now. With my goals in mind, I list just three things I want to accomplish each day. Intentional choices each day to help me move beyond myself. Small steps to achieve big things! Some days, I complete the three tasks I set myself, other days there are demands that take me away from my work. But there’s no dwelling on that and feeling guilty. My choice is to move gently and not feel anxious even though I want to make continuous progress.

I’m also using my diary in the way it’s meant to be used. David Allen in his book, Getting things done says that a diary should only be used to note the things you want to accomplish on specific days, and appointments and activities at specific times, instead of using it as a notebook for jotting down random things. Something I’m guilty of. This seems to be working as I’m using it every day now, and it sits open on my desk in plain view, with my three things to accomplish and the the other to-dos for the day. It’s not forgotten in a drawer or under a pile of books.

So, there you have it. My professional goals for the quarter. I feel the anxious fluttering of butterflies in my stomach now, so I’m going to take a short break and give my attention to another intentional choice I made: to bring meditation into my life as part of my self-care…

Meditation - an eight week programme to help me make intentional choices
Another of my intentional choices – to follow an eight week meditation programme from this book

…I’m back after a three-minute meditation which has settled me. I bought this book as a present for my son but I’ve kept it for a while so that I could work through the eight-week course of becoming more mindfully aware.

Mark Williams and Danny Penman’s book is a practical guide to meditation, set out in weekly activities and practices which only take a few minutes. Making this intentional choice is, as Ralph Marston says, another way to make a difference in my life.

I’m at week six now. It’s another way to bring FLOW into my life — to enable the gentle process of moving continuously to unfold easily, calmly, and smoothly. I’m meditating daily and although my mind is easily distracted, I think it’s been enormously beneficial. I certainly feel calmer, less stressed about the things I can’t control, and not so anxious about all the ‘Next actions’ on my Trello boards.

Drawing as a way to keep in in the present
Drawing practice each day to keep me mindful and in flow with my daily intentions

As part of my self-care I made the intentional choice to make time for drawing which helps with my creativity and focuses my attention in the present. I’m still at the beginning of my learning but my practice has been erratic.

For starters, I decided that for the month of February I would draw snippets from my life every day. The time I spend drawing is like an active meditation. There’s just me, my pencil on the paper, and my subject — a kind of meditation. A small drawing, I’ve discovered, doesn’t take long. The drawings aren’t fabulous — I can see a lack of perspective in some and problems with proportion, but I’ve banished the demon of perfection .

Seeing the ocean is self-care. It helps me to keep in flow with my intentional choices
An Italian seascape. The ocean is a place that soothes me. A place to practice self-care

Other intentional choices, like my journal writing, which is part of my daily routine anyway, and regular exercise, apart from walking my dog, are what matter to me as well.  I joined an exercise class at my local swimming pool and attend three times per week. I can’t say I love the pool (I prefer the beach) but I do enjoy being active and feeling fit). I can feel the difference in my body and it’s another way to be present. And the endorphins produced linger for quite a while afterward. So it’s a win win situation!

I know there will be days when my attention will be drawn elsewhere, such as searching for the dream house (an ongoing affair which is an overarching objective for this year and one which is going to make a huge difference to my life!). However, routine is a steadying influence for now.

My intentional choices are keeping me on the path to building that passionate life, taking me beyond myself, which is where I want to be. The rest of David’s quote — ‘Half a step into forgetting and the rest restored by what you’ll meet.’— is a good place to aim for. This means be gentle to myself, visit the beach often, walk in nature and spend time with my loves.

Have you made some intentional choices in your life that have helped you achieve life or career goals? I’d love to hear your story in the comments.

Colleen

 

 

 

The space between: journal reflections

Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.

                                                                                    ~  Guillaume Apollinaire

Golden Rose
Last chance to enjoy my Gold Bunny Rose, one of the first to flower in my garden

For the first time in my new temporary home I find some time to be here. It’s been a tough relocation — filled with complications, challenges, and situations that have set my teeth on edge. My first thought on opening this page was to write about the process of our relocation, but I found this post which was written about two weeks before we left our home in Adelaide. It was titled The space between what’s done and what’s yet to begin, and it reflects my thoughts at the time and brought to mind some lovely moments of just being.

I’m sharing it without editing as a journal reflection on that liminal space and as a small tribute to the final days in our old hometown. . .

Otters at the Adelaide Zoo
Saying farewell to the otters at the Adelaide Zoo.

. . .In two weeks, we will leave this place called home. We are packing up, closing down and getting reading to move on. And in this liminal space — between what’s done and what’s yet to begin, I’ve been busy with the practicalities and technicalities of integrating my work life and my passionate life story.

The busyness of finding solutions for integrating all of this into a neat new package —website, social media, a new sense of identity — has been consuming. So much so that I was forgetting to just be. The things that matter, the most important things, were taking a back seat.

What matters right now is to enjoy our final days here. In the midst of preparing to leave, there are still walks in nature, reading, and of course writing. Not the About me page or the list of services I’m offering or whether I should pin this blog post to a Pinterest board, but finding pleasure in the work of writing my story and being present right now in my life.

The Lane Vineyard
Vines ready for pruning at the Lane Vineyard, Hahndorf. Lunch in the Adelaide Hills with my best girl and amore mio

I understand that the practical aspects of how I will present myself to the world is important, but at the moment, it seems like it’s too much, too difficult to think about. So I’m taking a pause — crazy though it sounds with the movers turning up in thirteen days.

Serenity in the Himeji Japanese Garden
Tranquility in the Himeji Japanese Garden. A favourite place which always holds the space between

David Kundtz, in his book Quiet Mind stresses that stopping — whether for a moment or a month — can be the difference between simply surviving and thriving. To me, it’s like taking a deep breath, in order to remember who I am and what I want. I wrote a blog post about taking a moment to be still a while ago, but with all the activity (mind and body) happening at the moment, I lost sight of the benefits of what David calls ‘still points’. He says:

More than anything, one should have a feeling of freedom, a feeling of having no pressing needs (even though there are often pressing needs), and as complete a state of relaxation as is possible right now.

So the agenda for the next two weeks has been cleared of the technical, practical stuff that I know will be there, waiting for when the time is right and I’m stopping for a moment to regain my equilibrium. I’m going to focus on what matters right now.

West Beach, Adelaide
Beach walks in old haunts with Lily the princess dog

Some of that is to bid farewell to familiar haunts — walks in my favourite gardens and the beach, and as well as packing my precious belongings, finding time for writing and reading, as well as practicing my drawing and photography.  Finding joy in being present in this space between.

 The space between,
The space between what’s done and what’s yet to begin. Adelaide Botanic Garden wetlands looking serene

With the trauma of moving, I have only now come to appreciate the moments taken and enjoyed in that brief time before our departure. I hope that you too can find some stillness in your life to just be. Sometimes, doing nothing is the best thing to do.

Thanks Adelaide for some of the best moments of my life!

 

Take a moment (or a morning) to be still

take a moment to be still
Take a moment to smell the roses

Time spent doing nothing allows us to awaken what is most meaningful and valuable to us.

                                      ~  David Kundtz

“Life is busy,” is a common refrain when we ask someone how they are, or how life is for them. Society encourages us to work harder, faster, aim bigger, achieve more. Our lives are full of distractions, and in our connected world we are always thinking about the next new thing, checking our twitter feeds, sending messages and filling our time with unfocused busyness.

“The fast-paced rhythm of modern life conditions us to skim the surface of experience, then quickly move on to something new,” says Stephan Rechtschaffen. We are so harried, hurried, moving headlong to the new, that we forget to be intentional. We forget to focus our attention on the present.

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The year of YES!

Say yes to life

Always say ‘yes’ to the present moment… Surrender to what is.
Say ‘yes’ to life — and see how life suddenly starts working
for you rather than against you.

                   ~ Eckhart Tolle

I’ve always lived with the fear of failure. Afraid that I didn’t measure up. Afraid that my work wasn’t good enough. Afraid of taking the big leap into the unknown. And this fear has stopped me from saying YES.

So I’ve decided that 2016 is going to be the year of YES!

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